


Shelved For Now

by meesherbeans



Series: Out of My Mind [1]
Category: Mass Effect: Andromeda
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Healthy Relationships, One Shot, Unresolved Romantic Tension, Unresolved Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-03
Updated: 2017-04-03
Packaged: 2018-10-14 11:37:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,122
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10535685
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/meesherbeans/pseuds/meesherbeans
Summary: The last month has been a weird one for Liam and Sara, full of surprises and decisions made in the heat of the moment. Late one night, Liam finds Sara trying to cope with the stress of being Pathfinder, and they have a chat about everything.





	

The back of the front seat in the Nomad has a scratch; I poke it with a finger to see how deep it is, then sigh.

Expectations suck.

I had so many expectations for Andromeda. To explore a new frontier with my brother. To get to know my father better. Maybe even feel like a _family_ again. To find a new home. One without the baggage from the Milky Way. To be able to build a new identity, one not tainted by Dad's illegal experiments.

Apparently, fate followed me to Andromeda and found a way to stick me with a bit of bitter irony even now. Can't run from expectations, it seems: the engines had barely cooled, Dad died, and suddenly all of his responsibilities were mine. I don't actually mind for the most part, but…this isn't what I thought it was going to be.

It'd be a lot easier if Scott were here.

We teased each other a lot over the years, but when it really comes down to it, we're twins. We love each other, look out for one another. He's my little brother, even if only by one minute. We would spend hours sitting in a broken old transport on the Citadel, listening to crappy old music and sharing made-up stories about what our dad was doing right then. N7s were very mysterious and everyone knew they were major badasses; on a daily basis, one of us had convinced the other that our father was off saving a Krogan princess from an evil Geth monster.

_You better make it through, Scott. I'm working hard so we have some kind of home when you wake up._

Before I start crying, I close my eyes and let the loud music blaring from my omni-tool wash over me. Hopefully, no one hears me but right now I just don't care: I need to sing. I take a deep breath and let the words carry away my frustrations and worries.

_Do I love the dead more than the living? Do I love the dead more than the liiiiiviiiiiiing?_

Ack! My eyes fly open; why is it light in here? I kept all the lights off on purpose… What the hell? The Nomad door is open? Shit, someone's standing in the doorway…

Oh, dammit, my music is still playing. Argh! It takes a few frantic jabs, but finally, the music stops blaring out of my omni-tool. I look up to see who caught me in the act and I can already feel my face heating up.

It would be Liam.

My throat is dry and I have to cough before breaking the silence. "Uh, hi."

To his credit, he gives me a warm smile and waves from the doorframe. "Hey. Am I interrupting anything?"

"Uh…" I sit up a bit straighter, making sure I didn't accidentally turn on an alarm or hail anyone or anything while trying to turn off the audio file. "No. Not really."

His voice is always soothing; maybe it's the accent, I don't know. It's nice, though. I can't help a smile when he asks – he always asks, it's so charming. "Mind if I join you in there, then?"

"Uh, yeah. Yeah, c'mon in." I shrug one shoulder, not daring to give away too much. We've had a complicated past month or so: first we fell face-first into bed together after a really frustrating day, then a week or so later he found me sobbing like an idiot after SAM showed me the memory of my mother's death. We…hadn't really talked about anything. It's not surprising he's been avoiding me, but it still hurts a little.

Liam climbs into the front seat of the Nomad and quietly shuts the door behind him. "Thanks."

When he turns back to look at me, his brown eyes full of empathy, I have to tear my gaze away and wrap my arms around my own torso. "So, uh. Sorry about that. Blasting music, I mean. I know it's late."

His laugh is warm, almost annoyingly comforting; I try to bite the smile from my lower lip. It's like the first sip of hot coffee after a long night's sleep. "Oh, I don't care. Didn't even know it was music at first, just heard noises coming out of here and got curious. What were you listening to?"

I take a long, deep breath and exhale it slowly, preparing for a good bit of teasing. "Uh, really old stuff. Obscure. Metal."

"Really? You don't seem like the 'metal type' to me."

Hah, what does that even mean? I can't help but lean back and give him a weird look, one eyebrow raised as I egg him on. "And what exactly is the 'metal type,' then?"

He blinks, clearly not expecting that response. His left-hand reaches to quickly brush through his hair. "Uh, I dunno. Don't listen to it myself, but you're…kind? Quiet?"

It takes most of my self-control to not burst out laughing at his awkward backpedaling. "And if I listen to metal music, I can't be those things?"

"Alright, I surrender!" He raises both of his hands with a wide grin. "I don't know what I'm talking about."

Neither of us makes it more than a few heartbeats before buckling under the strain of trying to keep this conversation from devolving; he cracks first, breaking into bright laughter.

A memory overwhelms me when the giggling subsides; he tries to catch my eye, but I manage to dodge his gaze.

_"This is going to be one hell of a ride."_  
_"We'll have each other's backs."_  
_"I know."_  
_"Hey, if you're the first to wake up, wait for me, okay?"_  
_"Promise."_

"You alright, Sara?"

 _No, I'm not. I miss my brother._ I settle back against the window, reaching to pull my knees against my chest. Even if we don't ever talk about what happened, I'll probably regret not letting Liam be my friend more than if I just shut him out. Sometimes stuff like that just happens; I mean, it's not like we had this big conversation with declarations and commitment and stuff – we slept together after a tough day.

Looking up, I catch him watching me with concern. Care, even. I ignore the small wave of warmth that ripples along my stomach and give him a small smile. "…I know I have the Pathfinder cabin, but it's just so big and empty. It feels weird listening to music in there."

 _"How did people even listen to music on these things?"_  
_"I don't know!_ There's _only like 12 songs on here."_  
_"Twelve?! Let me see!"_  
_"Geez, you don't have to grab so hard."_

Scott's voice echoes through my mind and I have to look away, staring at my knees. I miss him so much. "Scott and I would listen to music in the back of an old transport when we were kids… This just feels better. I feel like I can…hear the music better in here."

The Nomad shifts back and forth a few times as Liam moves to sit closer to me, reaching and laying a hand on my shoulder. "I'm sure he's alright. Harry's one of the best."

His hand's warmth bleeds through my hoodie; just like his laugh, it has no right being that comforting. I blink back the wave of tears that swell with the physical comfort. "I know. Still… I really could've used him around lately."

"I know. It's tough for everyone…but we're in it, now." He squeezes my shoulder lightly, rubbing in small circles. "Look at it this way: everything you do is one step closer to having a home ready for him when he wakes up."

I can't help the amused smile that slowly plasters across my face. Wasn't I thinking the exact same thing before he showed up? "That's what I've been telling myself; get out of my head."

"I would if I could!" He grins and gives me a light push on the shoulder before sitting back. "Crazy stuff up in there."

The levity of his comment is all too welcome; I giggle and rest my chin on my knees. "Ohh, I'm not _that_ bad."

"No, you're not. You're right nice, actually." Liam tilts his head back against the window behind him, his neck peeking out from under his shirt collar.

_Quick, jump forward and lick it._

I blink and summarily ignore _that_ voice in my head. "Thank you. You're not so bad yourself, sometimes."

He chuckles, his Adam's apple bobbing up and down with the sound. This is entirely too distracting. Thankfully we lapse into silence and I focus on keeping my breathing under control. God, we really haven't been alone since we slept together, have we? Here we are, having a perfectly nice conversation and my brain has to go there. The lingering warmth of his hand finally dissipates, leaving my shoulder feeling that much cooler than it was before.

_Get. It. Together. Ryder._

"So…uh. Mind if I change the subject?" His voice cuts through my thoughts, distracted and…nervous? Is he nervous?

I decide to try and downplay it, in case he is nervous for some reason; I make my voice as light as possible. "Go ahead. What's up?"

"The other week, when we…"

He trails off and my eyes immediately snap up to look at him. Is he bringing it up? He bites his lip and I can't help but stare when he meets my gaze. He's wearing the look he gave me right before we crashed into each other's lips; I try to remember how to breathe.

What feels like the longest and shortest heartbeats of my life pass before Liam finally blinks, eyes flitting down to focus on his fingers as they quietly drum on the seat. Released from his regard, I swallow the lump in my throat that had begun to form and try to regain some semblance of calm.

"That wasn't…weird for you, was it? Not…the part with you. I mean, it was all with you. Uh, what I mean is, that things can get close on a ship like this and sometimes things just…happen."

I've never heard Liam so unsure of himself. He's not cocky, but he's most definitely a man who knows who he is and what he wants. This is… Well, to be completely honest, it's kind of sexy. Knowing that he's this nervous, this undone about what happened, is pretty flattering.

I bite my lower lip and hope that my voice isn't as rough as I think it sounds. "…Weird? No, not weird. You, um, won't hear any complaints from me, Liam. I…hope that goes both ways?"

Liam's answer is charmingly instantaneous. "You bet it does, make no mistake." He pauses to take a deep breath, and I start to get scared. What if he's going to say it was just a one-night thing? I knew that was a risk when I agreed to it, but it'll still hurt a lot if it's true.

"Listen, that night was one night, and I'm an adult; I won't get clingy. That's the last thing you need right now. But… I'm _not_ trying to run, either. I'm not trying to brush it off, but things…they're insane right now. You've got a lot on your mind. So…maybe we keep it in mind for the future?"

That's…an extremely fair and mature way of looking at it. At least he's not flat-out saying it was a one-time thing, just that right _now_ probably isn't the best time to get distracted with relationship stuff. I mean, he's probably right on that. Knowing it'll be "later" has got to be better than sitting around never knowing.

"We do have a lot going on right now. I… I guess that's for the best. But…yeah, let's not close that door." I fight back the fluttering in my stomach and quietly manage to drag my gaze back up to his face. Our eyes meet once more and the words barely make it past my lips in a whisper. "I _do_ like you."

The right side of his mouth curves up first, the grin slowly evening out into a bright smile. "I'm glad to hear it. I really like you, too." His laugh is more an exhalation of breath than actual laughter; even I feel the catharsis from it. He waves his hand between the two of us. "This nervousness, right here? Don't know about you, but it's the most normal I've felt since we got out of cryo."

I'm feeling a bit bold… I lift my hand to grab the hand he has resting on the top of the seat back. "Me, too."


End file.
